I feel like I don’t belong. I don’t fit in with my friends. I don’t feel secure there, I just don’t feel like I’m in a friendship. And I don’t know if it’s my fault, or if that’s just how it is and at the same time I don’t know how I can change that. I hate going to school because I hate that recess and lunch, or any time I’m not in a lesson, are the parts of school I dread the most. It’s just not right.
I had a pretty bad eating day yesterday. I had some scrambled eggs and bread for breakfast which was fine, then took Milly for a walk with the cousins. We came back at 11:40 so we didn’t eat anything because we thought Mum and Dad would be home soon and then we could have sushi for lunch like Dad said. So we ended up waiting for another two hours before we had lunch and by that time I hadn’t eaten for six hours or something crazy like that so I had way too much sushi, plus a slice of bread - my stomach felt disgusting afterwards. Then I didn’t eat anything else till dinner, when we bought some Nasi Goreng. I was hungry by then again, but the food was oily so it didn’t make me feel any better. Just in general a not very clean day in terms of eating.
I didn’t workout either. I know you probably think ‘I didn’t have the time’ is a crappy excuse, but I didn’t. I couldn’t do it while the cousins were here, and as soon as they left Mum locked me in my room and shut my blinds for an hour because she said I needed to sleep, so I did. Then when I got up I had to shower and get ready and by the time we got back it was too late to workout.
But other than those two things, it was a really awesome day. I love my cousins; they’re just great. We went to the playground and played dodgeball (we’re such kids, it’s awesome) and just had a lot of fun. And the night was fun as well. Mum, Dad, Nanna, my brother and I went to the city for a night out and went to the theatre and stuff - it was just a really nice day.
My cousins stayed for most of the day, then once they left Mum made me sleep for an hour and then once I’d slept I had to get ready to go out. I had a bad day health wise (I’ll make a post tomorrow) but it was a good day in general. But right now I’m seriously tired and I think I’ll sleep in till afternoon. Good night morning!
Yesterday I was walking Milly with Mum and my feet got sore in like the first 10 minutes of walking, so I asked Mum if I could get new shoes when I can run 5kms straight, and she said yes! So I’m super excited and I will get to the 5kms soon!
Bike ride was swapped for a walk and The Lucky One.
My brother had to go to one of his friends’ birthday parties today, so he left at like 2 and Mum and I went down to where our new house is being built and took a nice walk around the neighbourhood. We got lost, so it ended up being longer than intended which was cool. But I’m glad we didn’t go biking because a) Milly might not have gotten a long walk today, b) I don’t think Mum would’ve been able to bike as far as I would’ve wanted and c) my feet were sore - I think I need new shoes.
And afterwards we went to see The Lucky One. I’m very proud of Zac Efron, I think he’s come a long way from HSM and he’s a really good actor. It was a nice movie, I liked it. It was also nice, having half the day to just me and Mum. I think we should more often.
We're going for a bike ride today, I'm looking forward to it!
I just feel like sometimes our family doesn’t do much together except for go out to see stuff or watch movies and things like that so I’m really looking forward to going out today, on our bikes, just because we can. I wish Dad was here, though. That’s probably why it feels like we don’t do much.
But I’ll end up on Tumblr anyway. I always do. But seriously, I shouldn’t be here. I have to workout (one hour+), take my Nanna out and show her where everything is (at least one hour), copy everything down for maths and science (one hour each+) and then study (one hour). Plus then, I have to study French (one hour minimum) and clean my room. That’s 6 hours’ worth of stuff which isn’t that much but I’m so good at procrastinating and getting distracted, I can guarantee I’ll be going for 8.
Did anyone else watch The Voice (Australia) last night?
Two things: firstly, what about the guy that did We Are The Champions by Queen? Why did no one turn around for him?! Man, he could sing! He sang Queen for Freddie’s sake, and he did it well! I was so mad that no one pushed their button! Why?!
And secondly, do you guys love Seal’s arms Seal as much as I do? His arms are actually so awesome. And his height’s pretty cool too. But just his arms! And his dancing… I laughed out loud, he’s great. He’s also a very nice person, in my opinion and I think his feedback to everyone is very kind and genuine. If I were on The Voice, he would’ve been my number one choice for my mentor.
As soon as Mum and Dad went to bed, I heard Nanna in the living room walking to the kitchen (faster than I’ve ever seen her walk before) and she spent like 5 minutes rummaging through a bag of chocolates. She tried to be all sneaky and do it when Mum and Dad had gone - she think we don’t know, but we totally do.
I feel bad for her. She’s on the phone right now to one of her brothers, arguing about him arguing with her other brothers. She sounds really angry and worked up, and she’s trying to convince him to do something in a something way. I don’t know, I can’t really understand what she’s talking about. But she’s the one always picking up the pieces after an argument or falling out in her family and I can tell she gets so stressed. She doesn’t deserve all that.
Every day, at least twice a day, we get into a big fight. It hasn’t always been like this and I hate fighting with him. We always get back to being cool with each other and nice to each other, but I wish it could be like that all the time.
Turns out by the time dinner was ready, I was actually hungry. I don’t think I had too much of any one thing, I just think it all might’ve added up to a lot of calories, but I guess I can’t help that too much - I was very hungry! And Dad was in a better mood, which was really good. In general it was a nice night. But it’s late now and I’m so tired, so I’ll probably fall asleep in like 5 minutes.
I just already feel full, and I really don’t feel like putting anything else into my stomach right now because it already feels heavy and groggy and gross. I haven’t eaten that much today, I’m just having one of those days. But Dad’s gone and made so much food, plus there’s Sticky Date Pudding for dessert, and if I don’t have a giant’s serving of each dish he’ll get mad at me - he’s been mad at me all day already and I really don’t need that.
We didn’t end up watching the Hunger Games or the Lucky One, but this was such a great movie that I didn’t mind! I was crying so much at the end! Mum was crying too, and I’m pretty sure Dad was almost there as well. It was just such a sweet movie, I love it! The trailer doesn’t really do it justice, but it’s about the creation of Peter Pan and the story behind the playwright, J. M. Barrie. You guys should definitely watch it if you haven’t seen it before, and even if you have.